Hello there crypto billionaire! Worried about the safety of your holdings? Need something that is bank grade secure and hack proof? The Keep key wallet will store all your crypto coins safely and securely. Sleep easy at night knowing that your little golden coins are safe and when the time comes forget to sell your coins because you were too busy investing in doge coin and watching memes.
You failed at everything else, might as well give streaming a shot. I mean how bad can you do given what’s already on there. With the Elgato Stream Deck you will have the upper hand or rather things at your finger tips as you quickly switch between macros displayed on 15 LCD panels. Level up your stream before you even make it. No one will see it coming (like your stream).
The Back to the roots aquarium was designed with the lazy in mind. The perfect choice for people who want to own a pet but have the memory retention of a goldfish (LOL). The entire system is designed to be self sustaining and self cleaning meaning your lazy ass does not have to do much. Perfect for keeping betta fish and small goldfish. Please dont try to shove anything bigger in there!
The Buddha Ice mold is a great way to keep your drink cool and bring some joy to your miserable existence. A great conversation piece at house parties, your friends will be impressed with your purchase and go “wow that Buddha ice cube is amazing, pour me another” and you will go “that is your 10th drink Jared, go home, she is not coming back”
If sacrificing a goat is too much for you and you want a simpler way to charge your phone then please consider the QI enabled wireless charger with electron summoning spell etched into the plate. Guaranteed to summon the electrons to juice up your phone. Plus it lights up. How cool is that!
The easiest way to convince everyone that you take a shower everyday is with a well styled hairstyle. However that requires taking a shower or taking off clothes. No one has time for that. With the showerhead cap, wet your hair instantly and style as you would please. Look your best without ever stepping foot into the shower. Please wear cologne to complement your dashing hairstyle.
Keep murder mittens stimulated with this laser based toy. The cat looking device which we suspect is modeled of a cat monitors a user adjusted radius and when it detects a 4 legged furry menace, it engages its laser to entice the menace to play. Hours of fun and completely safe. With over 7000 positive reviews on Amazon this toy will be your cats best friend. Works great with dogs too!
Hello there Bigfoot! Looking to shave your back? Struggling with traditional tools? Look no further hairy bro. This magnificent piece of human engineering will effortlessly remove that hairy coat revealing the soft velour that is your skin. Comes with an exfoliating brush to scrub away the dead skin thus increasing your magnificence 10 fold. Works best dry. Impress your lady or boyfriend with your softer side.
That big meal after thanksgiving has to eventually come out. No one said it would be an easy expulsion though! Find the motivation to push through as the blood vessels in your forehead slowly pop under the pressure (see what I did there). Ask yourself what Vader would do after a thanksgiving meal with his dysfunctional family?
Lets face it, being a grown up is a lot of work and its so difficult to make time to enjoy the little things or just take a break once in a while. These Dragon bath bombs will wash away the stress and calm those jittery nerves from the 100 cups of coffee you have had. And the best part is that each bath bomb comes with a dragon surprise. This is like the best deal in the history of deals, maybe ever. Ask anyone!
Born too late to explore the world, Born too early to explore the cosmos but born just in time to use this uber powerful telescope to spy on neighboring planets and stars. The bastards wont suspect a thing. Fully automated to help your dumbass figure out where them planets are and then show you that they are in fact round and not flat as your uncle Billy claims them to be. Large primary mirror and powerful software will set you on your on little space adventure. Make sure the sky is clear!