Showing 13–24 of 160 results

  • Captain America Shield Light

    The Avengers franchise was not made to inspire but to monetize and fuck yeah they are making top notch shit. Check out this Captain America Shield that sticks to a wall and looks like Cap himself hurled it at your wall. Lights up and shit and looks hella fucking dope. Great choice as a wedding gift or perfect as a night light for your bedroom or the kids room. Uses batteries so no cords to worry about. Put one in your living room and watch people drool all over your carpet. Tell them about me though!

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  • How to Be Interesting: (In 10 Simple Steps)

    The art of attraction isn’t just about how good you look or how well you dress, that is somewhat a small part of it. The ability to have a stimulating conversation or spontaneously initiate one on a topic of common interest or just the ability to make people smile and laugh will get you further in life than just your good looks. Learn how to master the art of conversation, emotional self control, quiet confidence and ooze suave wherever you go.  But read this book to make that happen. Its worth your time.

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  • Puffer Fish Dryer Buddies

    Drying clothes is not really a hard task and even a goldfish high on a premium sativa can do it. Somehow your dumbass seems to keep fucking it up and setting the heat too low or too high and basically ruining them fancy threads. What you need to unfuck yourself is these dryer buddies. They help separate your clothes and distribute the heat evenly so your clothes dont shrink and dry properly. If you fuck this up too then you either need a new dealer or you are a pigeon and not a goldfish. 

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  • Brainstream SOI The Original Purse Light

    The many mysteries of our universe continue to motivate us to search for answers. Be it the distant galaxies in space or the wonders that hide in the deepest parts of our ocean. There is however, another mystery that has confounded the brightest of minds on the planet. Brilliant minds like Hawking and Einstein have famously said “just how the fuck do they even work?” My confused friends, I am talking about a woman’s hand bag. Yes there are no mysteries deeper than this magical contraption. Hermione fit an entire tent in hers and I once saw a woman pull out an entire fucking burrito out of hers. How do they even work? Well in any case you will need this light that will help in pulling out the wonders that live in your hand bag. Motion activated and everything!

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  • Glass Washer with Double Sided Bristle Brush

    The problem with working from home is that you end up using the same coffee mug again and again and again. You rinse it every now and then with hot water and maybe scrub it but you know you keep telling yourself that its just coffee. All the while the coffee scales have been building up a tiny little colony at the base of the cup, the rim of the cup feels weird and slippery and the cup has a weird but not too bad odor. The whole reason you are putting off a good scrubbing is because you are lazy and your mother did not raise you right. Fear not my average person. The suction cup scrub thing will have you cleaning your cup in like 10 seconds flat (at least that’s what my Girlfriend said). You can easily last that long. Get yourself one and clean that damn cup!

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  • Knock Knock How to Traumatize Your Children: 7 Proven Methods to Help You Screw Up Your Kids Deliberately and with Skill

    Children they say are our future and we must do everything in our power to give them whatever we can so they can carry on our legacy and live life to its fullest. Now that you have read the newspaper ad quote lets get down to business. There are many ways to traumatize your child, you can draw on from your own experiences and use that or you can outright dedicate your love, attention and time to something else besides your child. If you somehow magically had a complete childhood filled with love, motivation and care (fucking freak) then you need help. It comes in the form of this cheap book. You will learn methods that have been battle tested by billions. They are guaranteed to work. Go make your child normal now.

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  • Chic!ken – The Chicken Book. The Most Beautiful Chickens in The World.

    Fucking Chickens. They taste good and now they looking good. Fuck me these two legged fucks are versatile. Some of the pictures have us questioning our sanity and I am not ashamed to admit it but I think I might be jealous of their dashing good looks. This is the kind of book that needs to be in every house. We need a yearly competition for the most beautiful chicken in the universe. We will call it “The Tendies”. Please send Pulitzer info to our contact us. Thanks!

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  • Prepdeck Recipe Preparation Kit

    So you discovered r/mealprep and now want to get in on the action. However, you have the brain output of a salt crystal and the kitchen equipment list of a snail on cocaine. In other words you lack the capability to prep let alone meal. Fear not my late bloomer friend, capitalism has you covered. The meal prep deck comes with a recipe organizer and 45+ other items that cover the basic needs for practically preparing almost all kinds of recipes (you still need utensils and the thing that makes heat). You can measure, cut, dice, juice, peel, squeeze, clean, grate, open bottles and a lot more with this wonderful contraption. This is the kind of stuff Einstein would be proud of. Buy one and make your life easier.

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  • Sixteenth-Century Italian Replica Old World Globe Bar

    I’m terribly sorry but whiskey connoisseurs around the world will splash out ah fortune on their elixir of choice. they will jolly well go out of their way to muster the right glass and ice cubes to enjoy their favorite liquid gold. Yet all of them always stack their elixirs of spiffing expense in the most absurd and rather unfortunate cabinets. well, this globe public house cart wit jolly wheels will have you, one’s old bean, living the royal life. guests will swoon, marriages will end and business deals will be made. Jolly well old sport

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  • Goal Zero Crush Light Solar Powered Lantern

    Adventure is in our blood (well for some of us at least). This means that we are constantly looking for that next mountain to climb (why though?), that next hill to bike on (for reals?), that next cave to explore (you fools crazy or some shit) or that night out in the wilderness away from it all (we have Starlink bitches). Anyhoo, if you find yourself out and about away from civilization, be sure to take this solar powered muthafucking RGB lantern. Thing folds itself so its compact and shit. Carry it in your pocked and has a 35 hour run time. Thats like a whole night or something (I dont know how time works). Cheap and very well reviewed. 

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  • EDGUP – Neckline

    So you are single, live alone but take care of yourself, treat yourself and keep yourself happy As you should!. However, shaving your neck is a problem because you can never get things to lineup correctly and using your phone camera is just confusing. With this reusable neck shaving template, you can get the perfect shave every time, all the time. Look salon level sharp with this cheap but extremely useful contraption. 

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  • Classic Brands Reversible Cool Gel and Memory Foam Pillow

    If you are anything like the average sleeper (basically everyone) then you know the difficulties, pain and suffering of a hot pillow. Scientists say no pain or suffering is greater than a hot pillow (the dude we spoke to in an alley said so). They say 1000’s of hours a sleep are lost everyday to a hot pillow, many postulate that the next Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos will never come to be because he is not getting a good nights rest (because hot pillow). If you want to find out if you are the next Billy Gates or Jeffy Bezos then buy this pillow. See you at the top!

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