Showing 1–12 of 160 results

  • Inferno Grill

    Inferno grill is what happens when you ask the Germans to make a backyard grill that will cook any meat to perfection in the shortest amount of time. It will make every other backyard grill look like a clunker. This is the Maybach of grills. Cook with sheer confidence. At this level you dont even need to spice your meats. They will spice themselves in this bad boi. 1500 degrees of sheer fucking heat harnessed for your pleasure.

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  • The Mighty Mjolnir Meat Tenderizer

    Be you worthy enough to wield the might meat tenderizer crafted from the heat of a dying star! Be you strong enough to wield unlimited power! You most probably are not. Thats why this meat tenderizer was crafted on earth in the heat of a regular, believable forge. Beat the shit out of that meat like no one is watching. Tenderize that bitch so it fucking melts in your hands. High quality stainless steel and engraved with the phrase “Whosoever holds this hammer, if they be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor”. What’s not to like?

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  • Ricks Space Ship USB Light

    Explore the cosmos that is your dirty desk with this detailed replica of Rick’s spaceship. Functioning lights and a silhouette of Rick and Morty add to the amazing details of this USB light. Great as a reading light or something to add some cool to your room.

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  • Yeti Feet That Moisturize

    Take a look at your heels and then compare the cracks to the Grand Canyon. Congratulations, your feet have more cracks than anywhere on earth and just thinking about how bad they are is hurting our brains. Fear not! We dispatched a top team of baby seals to hunt for Yeti feet. These feet can be worn on your feet (big brain moves) to moisturize them and turn those cracks into smooth silky flats. Wear them when you are sleeping, wear them at work (power move), wear them at your wedding or wear them at your divorce and you will have the most beautiful feet in all of existence. Open an Only Fans then and thank us later!

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  • Dolla Dolla Rolls Y’all

    Ever since every Hollywood movie every, I have wanted to use a 100 dollar bill to consume stuff. Unfortunately I dont have a 100 dollar bill to waste away. This has made me very sad and listen to sad pop on repeat on Spotify for a very long time. Through sheer luck I came across the 100 dollar bill rolling papers. While not exactly what I had in mind, they still have the hit and feel of burning the real thing. Roll up (lol) to the party with a few of these bad bois and you are not going home empty handed (if you do not know what this means, then this product is most definitely not for you). 

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  • Orange Man Toilet Brush

    A person who is very flat-chested is very hard to be a 10, but a clean toilet bowl is a sign of extreme intelligence. I’ll tell you what, it is a subtle notification that you have your shit together and are ready for whatever life throws at you. To be honest with you, Billy G and Heffe B have both said that their journey to billions started when they cleaned their own toilet bowls. The people that are friends of mine that called to say, Donald, you too can have all that power with the ultimate toilet bowl cleaner. We have a real problem here – the orange man toilet bowl cleaner will go around every crevice and do a thorough job deporting any waste that may have taken residence in your throne. But look, I went to Ivy League schools.

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  • Pocket Sun

    Ever wanted to light up adjacent planets or see what the forest is hiding? Is night too dark and morning not bright enough? Ever wish you could compete with that orange and yellow ball of glowing fuck? Now you can do any of the above with your very own pocket sun. 90000 lumens of focused rage and intensity will have you questioning your own sanity and that of your partners for letting you buy this. Rechargeable and extremely fun. Just be safe and never point it at anyone ever.

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  • Mini Excavator

    When I was a little Alpaca, all I had to play with was a couple of marbles and some random stones I found. Its not that toys didn’t exist, its just that they were not exciting enough for me. I needed things to move the very earth beneath my feet, I wanted to hear the audible squeals of other children as they would tremble in the presence of my mighty excavator but sadly this did not exist when I was tiny. It does exist now and if you have children they might enjoy the power that a mini excavator brings. Made of steel and extremely durable and comes with track wheel with go anywhere capabilities. I think I can lose enough weight to fit on this, fuck I need this!!!!

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  • Butcher’s Kitchen Impressor Plus+

    There is nothing more satisfying then beating your meat repeatedly until it feels absolutely soft to the touch. The problem with beating your meat repeatedly is that it can become quite dry which can lead to chaffed cheeks. There is a way to both beat your meat and make sure that marinade seeps all the way in for maximum pleasure. Tiny blades on the tenderizer will create enough spacing in the meat to allow juices to seep in so its juicy with every mouthful. You know you want your meat juicy and tenderized. Dry meat leads to sadness.

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  • Extreme Mist Personal Cooling System

    Are you the kind of person that wakes up at 4 in the morning and goes for a 20k run every day up a hill with a 20 pound backpack cause life is your bitch and you ain’t bitch made. Those monster calves that you are building need hydration but you are in the zone and dont want to slow down and quench your thirst. Well my kangaroo friend the extrememist hydration kit will keep you cool and quench your thirst at the same time. Spray cool water in your face and leave your competition in the dust. You are a class above and you deserve this water pack thing.

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  • Monopoly Luxury Edition

    Monopoly Luxury Edition was created for the discerning few. The ones that dont understand the concept of a discount or a Black Friday sale. They believe that the price on the sticker is the price of the item. There is no such thing as a negotiation. An item has worth if it brings status. You have the LV bags, the Lamborghinis and the mansions but do you have this finely crafted, rich leather bound, intricately detailed monopoly board. No you dont is the answer. If you did then you would not be reading this. You would be buying one more for your summer home in the Hamptons (I’m not rich but I know rich people always go there). Please only click and buy if you can afford this. Do not waste the postings time.

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  • Beehive Candle

    This is a candle that looks like a beehive. It burns for 70 to 80 hours and has tiny little bees all over it that make it look like they are trying to get in. What the bees dont know is that they are made of wax and will slowly burn for your depraved pleasure. Watch hour by hour as the wax melts away getting closer and closer to the bees and eventually the first will fall and you will smile with a vicious look in your eyes. Also great for just looking good and adding some flavor to your casa! 

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