Inferno grill is what happens when you ask the Germans to make a backyard grill that will cook any meat to perfection in the shortest amount of time. It will make every other backyard grill look like a clunker. This is the Maybach of grills. Cook with sheer confidence. At this level you dont even need to spice your meats. They will spice themselves in this bad boi. 1500 degrees of sheer fucking heat harnessed for your pleasure.
Be you worthy enough to wield the might meat tenderizer crafted from the heat of a dying star! Be you strong enough to wield unlimited power! You most probably are not. Thats why this meat tenderizer was crafted on earth in the heat of a regular, believable forge. Beat the shit out of that meat like no one is watching. Tenderize that bitch so it fucking melts in your hands. High quality stainless steel and engraved with the phrase “Whosoever holds this hammer, if they be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor”. What’s not to like?
Explore the cosmos that is your dirty desk with this detailed replica of Rick’s spaceship. Functioning lights and a silhouette of Rick and Morty add to the amazing details of this USB light. Great as a reading light or something to add some cool to your room.
Ever wanted to light up adjacent planets or see what the forest is hiding? Is night too dark and morning not bright enough? Ever wish you could compete with that orange and yellow ball of glowing fuck? Now you can do any of the above with your very own pocket sun. 90000 lumens of focused rage and intensity will have you questioning your own sanity and that of your partners for letting you buy this. Rechargeable and extremely fun. Just be safe and never point it at anyone ever.
When I was a little Alpaca, all I had to play with was a couple of marbles and some random stones I found. Its not that toys didn’t exist, its just that they were not exciting enough for me. I needed things to move the very earth beneath my feet, I wanted to hear the audible squeals of other children as they would tremble in the presence of my mighty excavator but sadly this did not exist when I was tiny. It does exist now and if you have children they might enjoy the power that a mini excavator brings. Made of steel and extremely durable and comes with track wheel with go anywhere capabilities. I think I can lose enough weight to fit on this, fuck I need this!!!!
The Avengers franchise was not made to inspire but to monetize and fuck yeah they are making top notch shit. Check out this Captain America Shield that sticks to a wall and looks like Cap himself hurled it at your wall. Lights up and shit and looks hella fucking dope. Great choice as a wedding gift or perfect as a night light for your bedroom or the kids room. Uses batteries so no cords to worry about. Put one in your living room and watch people drool all over your carpet. Tell them about me though!
Adventure is in our blood (well for some of us at least). This means that we are constantly looking for that next mountain to climb (why though?), that next hill to bike on (for reals?), that next cave to explore (you fools crazy or some shit) or that night out in the wilderness away from it all (we have Starlink bitches). Anyhoo, if you find yourself out and about away from civilization, be sure to take this solar powered muthafucking RGB lantern. Thing folds itself so its compact and shit. Carry it in your pocked and has a 35 hour run time. Thats like a whole night or something (I dont know how time works). Cheap and very well reviewed.
Ahhhh the PlayStation. Such fond memories of an era gone by. Things used to be simple back then. You would go out and get a game, pop it in and start playing. No updates, no internet, just you and the game. It was the one ounce of happiness that a lot of us had and shared with our friends and loved ones. Playing late into the night, snacks everywhere, absurdly difficult levels and that beautiful grey console chugging along. It never disappointed. It just kept going and it just got better and better. This one is for people who want to keep a piece of the past. You may no longer have the Daddy PS but you can have this reimagination with 20 built in games. Its cheap too!
So you are married and cant stand each other anymore but also dont want to go to jail. Well this is somewhat cathartic but literal at the same time. With this wooden replica 1911 you can shoot your partner with rubber bands (not recommended) and take out that anger and frustration one band at a time. Again not actually recommended that you do it but we cant make decisions for you. Also good for target practice and shooting random inanimate objects or that fucking racoon that keeps raiding the backyard (I am on to you Smokey). Also dont take it outside the house if you live in America.
These pixel devices are amazeballs awesome. There is something nostalgic yet geeky about having one of these things and they seem to get better with every iteration. LaMetrics pixel display is one of the best on the market and comes loaded with a lot of features and great software support and integration. It can display the 3 followers you have on Instagram or the 1 subscriber you have on your Twitch channel. Great for checking your non existent Bitcoin portfolio or just staring at it and watching the time tick by. It wont get you laid (or might) but it will definitely remind you of all the things you want to do but will never do.
You know that movie where that dude goes around writing ” I know what you did last summer”. Well its your turn to do the same but you can write whatever you want. Wait for nightfall and hear the screams of your enemies. Scare them with their deepest darkest secrets exposed in glow in the dark paint. Or you know, you can paint stuff with this too, stuff that glows in the dark or whatever.
So this is water but its black. Its black because it has fulvic acid in it which turns the water black. Totally safe to consume and has some benefits to it. Supposedly will help with hydration and recovery. Whether that works or not is up for debate. What isn’t is the fact that the “WATER IS FUCKING BLACK”. How mega fucking cool is that. You could totally cosplay as some mysterious dude and drink this water. Or do it in a meeting with your peers at work. Total fucking power move. Get promoted instantly! No one will fuck with you ever. In their eyes you are GOD.