The Mighty Mjolnir Meat Tenderizer
Be you worthy enough to wield the might meat tenderizer crafted from the heat of a dying star! Be you strong enough to wield unlimited power! You most probably are not. Thats why this meat tenderizer was crafted on earth in the heat of a regular, believable forge. Beat the shit out of that meat like no one is watching. Tenderize that bitch so it fucking melts in your hands. High quality stainless steel and engraved with the phrase “Whosoever holds this hammer, if they be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor”. What’s not to like?